Kristin McCracken makes a rundown of things to do before you turn two-score. Some of these can give you a moment’s pause, some ridiculous, some a bit harsh, some insane, and some downrightly questionable -- but all of these said in a spirit of fun. After all, haven’t we learned by now not to take ourselves too seriously?
I have a special affinity for the Italian Renaissance period but I am not riding your time machine to go there even if you paid me. The average life expectancy during that period? Forty years old.
You may also wish to thank the Universe that you were not born in Lesotho, Zambia, Angola, or Swaziland. The CIA Factbook Estimates for 2011 shows that life expectancies for these countries are 40.38, 38.63, 38.2, and 31.88 years, respectively.
McCracken's list:
1. Quit your book club
2. Bridge the baby chasm
3. Admit to everything
4. Throw an Oscar party
5. Make out with the best man
6. Eat the worm
7. Build a nest egg
8. Take your parents out to dinner
9. Date a 25-year old, one last time
10. Put a lid on it
11. Karaoke
12. Host
13. Scuba dive
14. Document your life
15. Stop the tchotchkes
16. Serve on a jury
17. Play poker
18. Musically upgrade
19. Yell at someone
20. Remove it
21. Lose the snooze
22. Pierce something other than your ear
23. Strain your brain
24. Rent the classics
25. Pay off credit card debt
26. Think outside the box
27. Do something romantically cheesy
28. Drop $50 on a bottle of wine
29. Date a musician
30. Drive cross-country
31. Control the future of your face
32. Say NO
33. Ride a Harley
34. Accentuate the positive
35. Say yes to bubbles
36. Redistribute the wealth
37. Unsubscribe
38. Confront bullies, racists, and homophobes
39. Supply your own power
40. Sculpt yourself
41. Teach a class
42. Have a kid if you want one
43. Go to Paris
44. Reunite
45. Be your own Schneider
46. Give a really great toast
47. Buy a piece of real art
48. Take a stand
49. Master a mass-transit system, but know how to hail a taxi
50. Cut someone loose
51. Vibrate
52. Enact a two-drink maximum
53. Play an instrument
54. Make a new friend each year
55. Smell good
56. Dump the gap
57. Boycott February 14
58. Take a sabbatical
59. Go fishing
60. Fill up your jewelry box
61. Kiss the frogs
62. Play matchmaker
63. Be a boss
64. Purge
65. Break your own record
66. Quit smoking
67. Sign each book you read
68. Ask a friend for help
69. Drive a car that costs more than $50,000
70. Show gratitude
71. Expose the wizard
72. Take a mental-health day
73. Discover your superpower
74. Go out to a movie alone
75. Root, root, root
76. Instead of a stage name, pick a “stage age”
77. Lose gracefully
78. Surprise someone
79. Ride in a limo
80. Hang up your binoculars
81. Let the spirit move you
82. Sleep under the stars
83. Give something back
84. Habla sie Francais
85. Throw out any T-shirts with logos on them
86. Ride a roller coaster
87. Have a male friend
88. Ditch your college furniture
89. Name something
90. Divorce your hairstylist, or at least cheat
91. Give someone else to love your favorite movie
92. Take the long way home
93. Learn to tango
94. Go somewhere that makes people scratch their heads
95. Charm your way into (or out of) something
96. Figure out what you want to be when you grow up
97. Colorize
98. Never show up empty-handed
99. Bring something back to life
100. Retreat
101. Accept that forty is the new 30
What’s in your list?
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