the alchemist by paulo coelho (1988)

“It’s a book that says the same thing all other books in the world say,” continued the old man. “It describes people’s inability to choose their own Personal Legends. And it ends up saying that everyone believes the world’s greatest lie.”

“What’s the world’s greatest lie?” the boy asked, completely surprised.

“It’s this: that a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie.”

It is of no moment that Coelho’s been repeating himself in his later books, that his plots have worn thin, and his characters have turned predictable. For is it not sufficient that he has shown us how to discover our Personal Legends – that which we have always wanted to accomplish - and reminded us that when we want something, all the universe will conspire to help us achieve the same?

Coelho warns us that as time passes, a mysterious force will begin to convince us, however, that it will be impossible for us to realize our Personal Legend. It’s a force that appears to be negative, but actually will show us how to realize our Personal Legend. It prepares our spirit and will, because there in one great truth on this planet: Whoever we are, or whatever it is we do, when we really want something, it’s because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It’s our mission on earth.

black dogs by ian mcewan (1992)

Bernard and June Tremain’s son-in-law, discovers that it was June’s incident with the black dogs which ultimately decided the couple’s separation five years through their marriage. But as he came to know more his wife’s parents, the question of whether the black dogs were in fact real would keep surfacing in the context of the political conflagration in Europe during second world war, the fall of the Berlin Wall, the divergent socio-political beliefs of the couple, and their debates on the impact of an individual’s actions on the general milieu, the concepts of good and evil, and the importance of religious faith.

This is June Tremain’s belief: Human nature, the human heart, the spirit, the soul, consciousness itself – call it what you like – in the end, it’s all what we’ve got to work with. It has to develop and expand, or the sum of our misery will never diminish. My own small discovery has been that this change is possible, it is within our power. Without a revolution of the inner life, however slow, all our big designs are worthless. The work we have to do is with ourselves if we’re ever going to be at peace with each other. I’m not saying it’ll happen. There’s a good chance that it won’t. I’m saying it’s our only chance. If it does, and it could take generations, the good that flows from it will shape our societies in an unprogrammed, unforeseen way, under the control of no single group of people of set of ideas…”

Bernard, her husband, however, brusquely brushes the view saying, “As for the inner life, try having one of those on an empty stomach. Or without clean water. Or when you’re sharing a room with seven others. Now, of course, when we all have second homes in France… You see, the way things are going on in this overcrowded planet, we do need a set of ideas, and bloody good ones too!”.

Were the black dogs real or were they representations of something else?

foreign affairs by alison lurie (1984)

As I walked by myself
And talked to myself,
Myself said unto me,
Look to thyself,
Take care of thyself,
For nobody cares for thee.
- Old Song


Virginia Miner, American, 54 years old, plain, divorced Ivy League college professor, and an expert in the field of children’s literature, is in London with 27 year-old Fred Turner, who is tall, dark, endowed with movie-star looks, and an associate professor in the same university. Miner is on a six-month grant and will be continuing her studies on folk rhymes of schoolchildren; Turner, on the other hand, will be writing a book on the 18th century author John Gay. Miner is a devout anglophile while Turner’s dislike of London is growing keener by the day. The two will have separate experiences which they least expect and which will prove once again the democratic character of love – it knows no age, status, nationality, nor how one measures up in the Richter scale of looks or in today’s parlance, “hotness”.

A character who manages to steal the thunder from the lead players in the book is the dog Fido, who is visible only to the imagination of Miner. She visualizes him as a “medium sized dirty-white long-haired mutt, mainly Welsh terrier: sometimes trailing her silently, at other times whining and panting and nipping her heels; when bolder, dashing round in circles trying to trip her up, or at least get her to stoop down so that me may rush at her, knock her to the ground and cover her with sloppy kisses.”

In one of those days when Miner was feeling under the weather, Fido, thumps his feathery tail on the comforter but she shoves him away. “Though she has a perfect right to be sorry for herself now, she knows how perilous it is to overindulge it. To go on feeding and petting Fido, even to acknowledge his existence too often, will fatally encourage him. He will begin to grow larger, swelling from the breadth and height of a beagle to that of a retriever – a sheepdog – a Saint Bernard. If she doesn’t watch out, one day, she will be followed everywhere by an invisible dirty white dog the size of a cow.”

One of the best metaphors I have come across.

amadeus (1984)

I never admire another's fortune so much that I became dissatisfied with my own.
- Marcus Tulius Cicero (106-43 BC)


Amadeus is a film adaptation of the stage play written in 1979 by Peter Shaffer, loosely based on the lives of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (Tom Hulce) and Antonio Salieri (F. Murray Abraham), both composers in 18th century Vienna. Amadeus was inspired by Mozart and Salieri, a short play by Aleksandr Pushkin and later adapted into an opera of the same name by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakovplay of the same title.

The film is told from the point of view of Salieri, who was content as the court composer for Austrian Emperor Joseph II (Jeffrey Jones), until the arrival of Mozart, a protegé of Count Hieronymus von Colloredo, the Bishop of Salzburg (Nicholas Kepros).

Salieri would thereafter descend into a tunnel of pure hate and envy, his joy of music completely soured and which he sees has been rendered ridiculous in the light of Mozart’s magical talent. It does not help that he views Mozart as an undeserving vessel of such music genius – he would be caught in bawdy behaviour, drunken sprees, heavy debts, and inelegant manners not befitting the Viennese court. Salieri thus plots Mozart’s destruction. In the end, he manages to convince himself that it was he who caused Mozart’s early death (he died at 35).

The film is an absolutely beautiful piece from start to finish with the heady mix of European intriguing, Mozart’s resonant music reverberating throughout, and the fabulous sets for the operas. Salieri shines completely in this film and we alternate from feeling abhorrence, shame, and even a vague sense of commiseration, for who amongst has not experienced the darts of envy at seeing somebody, who we believe unworthy, skyrocket to a place we have so much desired for ourselves.

The film was nominated for 53 awards and received 40, including 8 Academy Awards (including Best Picture), 4 BAFTA Awards, 4 Golden Globes, and a DGA Award.

the undomestic goddess by sophie kinsella (2005)

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office.
- Heloise Cruse


This is how a modern fairytale sounds:

Once upon a time, in a far away kingdom called London, there lived a 29-year old lawyer who specialized in banking law, had a photographic memory, wore only black suits, worked 24x7, is not capable beyond making coffee and restructuring GBP30 million finance agreements, and whose sole heart’s desire was to become a partner in Carter Spink, one of London’s biggest law firms. Her name was Samantha Sweeting.

Because there are evil forces at work, just when she was about to be handed her prize, she was kicked out of Carter Spink and was banished to a godforsaken suburb to become a (gasp) housekeeper.

Since there is a princess, so there must be a prince and in this case, he was a gardener, but certainly not an ordinary one since he went to a university and did natural sciences. It was this prince who provided Samantha with a fairygodmother, who was actually the prince’s own mother. This fairygodmother briefed Samantha with the rudimentary techniques in cooking, cleaning, washing, and ironing and as a result thereof, Samantha’s employers were more than happy with their lawyer (of course they didn’t know she was one).

Alas, the path of true love never runs smooth and Samantha was vindicated and called back to Carter Spink where she was offered full equity partnership. There was also the matter of the Harvard-educated corporate partner in Carter Spink who might possibly be the true prince charming.

Samantha now has to resolve the issue between the law or cleaning loos – should she accept Carter Spink’s offer or go back to her 2-month life as an (un)domestic goddess? Is the high-powered like-minded attorney in Carter Spink only a toad or will he turn into a prince after true love's kiss? Was the 2-month sojourn with the gardener the real thing or only a holiday fling?

And here is I believe the seven hundred billion dollar question behind the modern fairytale: in taking either option, does “happily ever after” really follow?

the prophet by kahlil gibran (1951)

I don’t think I will ever get tired reading this book. Here’s a good site where you can check out what’s been told the People of Orphalese.



Then a lawyer said, "But what of our Laws, master?"

And he answered:

You delight in laying down laws,

Yet you delight more in breaking them.

Like children playing by the ocean who build sand-towers with constancy and then destroy them with laughter.

But while you build your sand-towers the ocean brings more sand to the shore,

And when you destroy them, the ocean laughs with you.

Verily the ocean laughs always with the innocent.

But what of those to whom life is not an ocean, and man-made laws are not sand-towers,

But to whom life is a rock, and the law a chisel with which they would carve it in their own likeness?

What of the cripple who hates dancers?

What of the ox who loves his yoke and deems the elk and deer of the forest stray and vagrant things?

What of the old serpent who cannot shed his skin, and calls all others naked and shameless?

And of him who comes early to the wedding-feast, and when over-fed and tired goes his way saying that all feasts are violation and all feasters law-breakers?

What shall I say of these save that they too stand in the sunlight, but with their backs to the sun?

They see only their shadows, and their shadows are their laws.

And what is the sun to them but a caster of shadows?

And what is it to acknowledge the laws but to stoop down and trace their shadows upon the earth?

But you who walk facing the sun, what images drawn on the earth can hold you?

You who travel with the wind, what weathervane shall direct your course?

What man's law shall bind you if you break your yoke but upon no man's prison door?

What laws shall you fear if you dance but stumble against no man's iron chains?

And who is he that shall bring you to judgment if you tear off your garment yet leave it in no man's path?

People of Orphalese, you can muffle the drum, and you can loosen the strings of the lyre, but who shall command the skylark not to sing?

dress your family in corduroy and denim by david sedaris (2004)

Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements.
- Elizabeth II

This is a collection of 22 essays in which Sedaris digs into his family treasure chest of memories detailing in sharp colours the eccentricities of his family members. There is Lisa, who was made out to become the most successful of the children but who had taken a detour with her paranoia and paralyzing fears; there is Tiffany who has brought vintage several degrees beyond, fashioning herself literally as a garbage woman; there is Paul, who has zoomed financially ahead of everyone in the family, peppering his sentences with cuss words along the way; there’s the Parents, who mildly remind us of certain people we have met in our lifetimes; and of course there’s David himself with the foibles of his adolescence which was made more interestingly so with his early awareness of his homosexuality. Also figuring out in this collection is Hughes, David’s partner, and their squabbles which are not different from the everyday vexations of heterosexual couples.

Sedaris is adept at creating a balance between humor and wit on the one hand and family nostalgia and making pinpricks on the other hand. The reader ends up in stitches essay after essay in this collection and realizes that ultimately, no matter how quirky our family members may be, and no matter how they may sorely try our patience at times, we will love them unstintingly and in perpetuity.

The collection includes the following essays:
1. "Us and Them" - childhood memories of a family "who don't believe in TV"
2. "Let It Snow" - the day when Sedaris's mother locked her children out in the snow
3. "The Ship Shape" - childhood memories of the second home that his father never bought
4. "Full House" - a childhood game of strip poker gives the young Sedaris a touching moment
5. "Consider the Stars" - reflecting on the cool kid at school
6. "Monie Changes Everything" - Sedaris's rich aunt
7. "The Change in Me" - the 13-year-old Sedaris wants to act like a hippie
8. "Hejira" - Sedaris's father kicks him out of his house due to his homosexuality
9. "Slumus Lordicus" - Sedaris's father's experiences as a landlord
10. "The Girl Next Door" - Sedaris's relationship with a girl from a troubled family
11."Blood Work" - a case of mistaken identity while cleaning houses
12. "The End of the Affair" - Sedaris and Hugh's different reactions to a love story
13. "Repeat After Me" - Sedaris's visit to his sister Lisa, and his family's feelings about being the subject of his essays
14. "Six to Eight Black Men" - thoughts about the traditional Dutch Christmas story, among other cultural oddities
15. "Rooster at the Hitchin' Post" - Sedaris's younger brother is born and gets married
16. "Possession" - searching for a new apartment, and Anne Frank's house
17. "Put a Lid on It" - a visit to Sedaris's sister Tiffany's home, and their relationship
18. "A Can of Worms" - Sedaris's mind wanders as he, Hugh and a friend eat at a diner
19. "Chicken in the Henhouse" - prejudiced attitudes towards homosexuals in America
20. "Who's the Chef?" - bickering between two people in a long-term relationship
21. "Baby Einstein" - the arrival of his brother's first baby
22. "Nuit of the Living Dead" - a late night encounter at home in rural France

being happy! by andrew matthews (1988)

The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven.
- John Milton


One of my uncles pressed me to read this book when I was about 12 years old saying that he had found it quite enlightening and helpful in his life. I dutifully perused the volume but did not find any earth-shaking revelations and found it rather disappointingly mundane. My uncle afterwards asked me how I found the book and I said, “uh, it was ok”. I am wondering now why my uncle even sought my opinion in the first place. Maybe because at that time, he still had no kids, could not recall his own childhood, or maybe have forgotten that at 12-years, one is invincible and has yet to discover the opposite pole of succeeding and is still on the world-is-mine-for-the-taking frame of mind. Worry is an alien verb at 12.

At some point, 12-year olds do discover mortality – they find out that people get sick, they die; that people enter and leave our lives; that our parents, we strongly suspect, may not be infallible but we do not want to be responsible for telling them so (or maybe we want them to remain infallible, up there with the resident in the Vatican), that the economy enters into a recession and we suddenly start worrying about the mortgage; that people figure in road mishaps no matter what precautions they take; that politics may get into the best of intentions; that sometimes fitness and merit is not all there is to nail that promotion; that people intentionally renege on their commitments; and that plans turn out to be – well, plans.

Before we decide to be not happy (according to Abraham Lincoln, a man who had more than enough reason to be unhappy but went on to become of the greatest Presidents of the United States, “most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be”), Matthews prods to ask ourselves these questions:
1. Do you have enough air to breathe, do you have enough food for today?
2. Can you still see? Walk? Hear?
3. What is the worst thing that could happen, and if it did, would you still be alive today?
4. Are you taking yourself too seriously?
5. What are you learning from this situation?
6. If things really seem serious, will you be ok for the next five minutes?
7. What else can you do?

Matthews tells this little story to emphasize a point. “Fred might, on just having lost his job, decide that he now has the opportunity to have a new work experience, to explore new possibilities, and to exercise his independence in the workplace. His brother Bill might, under the same circumstances, decide to jump off a 20-storey building and end it all. Given the same situation, one man rejoices while the other man commits suicide! One man sees disaster and the other man sees opportunity.”

Mathhews, however, shares that “probably the greatest way to feel better about yourself is to do something for someone else. Excessive worry and self-pity grow out of self-occupation. The moment you start making other people happy, whether you are sending them flowers or digging their garden or giving them your time, you feel better. It is automatic. It is simple.”

nectar in a sieve by kamala markandaya (1954)

“While the sun shines on you and the fields are green and beautiful to the eye, and your husband sees beauty in you which no one has seen before, and you have a good store of grain laid away for hard times, a roof over you and a sweet stirring in your body, what more can a woman ask for?”


“Nectar in a Sieve” is a moving narrative about Rukmani, an Indian woman’s journey from the time she was given as a child bride to Nathan, a farmer from several villages away, until her twilight years. Her life is marked with hardship, worry, hunger, and ceaseless toil as her family contends with droughts, monsoons, and the onset of industrialization. Yet despite the extreme financial poverty that would mark her entire life, we are awed that such has not impoverished her spirit. When Kenny, the English doctor, expresses frustration over Rukmani and wisps of contempt lace his words, we start asking which of the two is truly suffering from poverty – Kenny who is working amidst people not of his race and whose wife has finally given up on him, on the one hand; or Rukmani, who notwithstanding being bludgeoned by life’s troubles manages to retain a pure ray of hope in her heart and the capacity to see and be thankful for whatever happiness there is.

the story of o by pauline reage (1954)

“Keep me rather in this cage, and feed me sparingly, if you dare. Anything that brings me closer to illness and the edge of death makes me more faithful. It is only when you make me suffer that I feel safe and secure. You should never have agreed to be a god for me if you were afraid to assume the duties of a god, and we all know that they are not as tender as that. You have already seen me cry. Now you must learn to relish my tears.”

The Story of O is supposedly Reage’s (pen name of Anne Desclos) response to a challenge raised that women cannot write in the fashion of Marquis de Sade. I have been looking for this book for sometime after I have seen it repeatedly quoted by Erica Jong, Anne Rice, and Wei Hui. It also appears in the list of 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die.

The Story of O is not for the squeamish and the faint of heart. It shows love from a perspective that the only possible proof thereof is the willingness to undergo pain, suffering, and humiliation and total submission to the wishes of the beloved. And if need be, to offer one’s life.

the jane austen book club by karen joy fowler (2005)

The mere habit of learning to love is the thing.
- Jane Austen (1775-1817)


Six members of the Jane Austen Club – Jocelyn, Bernadette, Sylvia, Allegra, Prudie, and Grigg - gather together at Jocelyn’s screened porch at dusk in March to discuss Emma. It is Jocelyn, the one with the dogs and with the match-making penchant, who has made possible this congregation of minds.

Jocelyn and Sylvia are in their early 50s and have been friends since they were 11. Sylvia’s husband of 32 years, Daniel, has recently asked her for a divorce. Jocelyn has never married.

Allegra is Sylvia’s daughter, 30, and has recently broken up with her girlfriend Corinne.

Bernadette is 67, was formerly married, and has just announced that she was “letting herself go”.

Prudie is 27 years old and teaches French at the local high school. She is the only married member in the club, barring Sylvia, who is technically still married but not quite.

Grigg, 40s, is the only male member in the group. He is new in the place and has decided to get in touch with Jocelyn whom he has encountered in a hotel elevator before, is a big fan of science fiction, and one wonders why he is in this club at all.

The group thereafter meets on a monthly basis and as the members progress from Emma to Sense and Sensibility (hosted by Allegra), to Mansfield Park (hosted by Prudie), to Northanger Abbey (hosted by Grigg), to Pride and Prejudice (hosted by Bernadette), and finally to Persuasion (hosted by Sylvia), we not only are acquainted with the members’ favourite Austen books and their snobbish opinions but more interestingly, their housekeeping habits, personal histories, domestic troubles, and how they resemble characters in Austen’s stories.

This is a very difficult book to put down especially for Austen fans. For readers who still have to get acquainted with the author, this is a good introduction. There is also a synopsis to Austen’s six books at the end.

the little prince by antoine de saint-exupery (1943)

Chapters I love best from this book:

Chapter VI
Oh, little prince! Bit by bit I came to understand the secrets of your sad little life . . . For a long time you had found your only entertainment in the quiet pleasure of looking at the sunset. I learned that new detail on the morning of the fourth day, when you said to me:
"I am very fond of sunsets. Come, let us go look at a sunset now."
"But we must wait," I said.
"Wait? For what?"
"For the sunset. We must wait until it is time."
At first you seemed to be very much surprised. And then you laughed to yourself. You said to me:
"I am always thinking that I am at home!"
Just so. Everybody knows that when it is noon in the United States the sun is setting over France.
If you could fly to France in one minute, you could go straight into the sunset, right from noon. Unfortunately, France is too far away for that. But on your tiny planet, my little prince, all you need do is move your chair a few steps. You can see the day end and the twilight falling whenever you like . . .
"One day," you said to me, "I saw the sunset forty-four times!"
And a little later you added:
"You know--one loves the sunset, when one is so sad . . ."
"Were you so sad, then?" I asked, "on the day of the forty-four sunsets?"
But the little prince made no reply.

Chapter XXII
"Good morning," said the little prince.
"Good morning", said the railway switchman.
"What do you do here?" the little prince asked.
"I sort out travelers, in bundles of a thousand" , said the switchman. "I send off the trains that carry them: now to the right, now to the left."
And a brilliantly lighted express train shook the switchman's cabin as it rushed by with a roar like thunder.
"They are in a great hurry," said the little prince. "What are they looking for?"
"Not even the locomotive engineer knows that," said the switchman.
And a second brilliantly lighted express thundered by, in the opposite direction.
"Are they coming back already?" demanded the little prince.
"These are not the same ones," said the switchman. "It is an exchange."
"Were they not satisfied where they were?" asked the little prince.
"No one is ever satisfied where he is," said the switchman.
And they heard the roaring thunder of a third brilliantly lighted express.
"Are they pursuing the first travelers?" demanded the little prince.
"They are pursuing nothing at all," said the switchman. "They are asleep in there, or if they are not asleep they are yawning. Only the children are flattening their noses against the windowpanes."
"Only the children know what they are looking for," said the little prince. "They waste their time over a rag doll and it becomes very important to them; and if anybody takes it away from them, they cry . . ."
"They are lucky," the switchman said.

the hours by michael cunningham (1998)

“There’s just this for consolation: an hour here or there when our lives seem, against all odds and expectations, to burst open and give us everything we’ve ever imagined, though everyone but children (and perhaps even they) knows these hours will inevitably be followed by others, far darker and more difficult. Still, we cherish the city, the morning; we hope, more than anything, for more.”


This is a clever book interspersing one day the lives of three women at three different time periods – Virginia Woolf at the time she is writing Mrs. Dalloway (1923); Laura Brown, pregnant with her second child and mesmerized with her reading of Mrs. Dalloway (1949); and Clarissa Vaughan, aged 52 years old whom her close friend Richard has taken to calling “Mrs. Dalloway” (1998).

These are women going about their own ways yet, the thread of the story of Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway and Woolf’s own tragic death looms over all the characters, culminating one evening in Vaughan’s home after she has witnessed somebody jumping from a window ledge earlier that day.

This 1990 Pulitzer prize gripping story was made into a film in 2002 starring Meryl Streep (Clarissa Vaughan), Julianne Moore (Laura Brown), and Nicole Kidman (Virigina Woolf). Kidman won an Oscar for best actress in this film.

a room of one's own by virginia woolf (1929)

A woman must have money and a room of her own
if she is to write fiction.- Virginia Woolf


A Room of One’s Own is based on two papers read to the Arts Society and at Newnham and the Odtaa at Girton in October 1928.

Woolf, while seemingly in the midst of a long perambulation, discusses women; fiction; why if Shakespeare had a sister, she would not make it as her brother had; and the reasons women have yet to achieve the status of men in literature. She also makes a comparison among the published women during her time which included Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters, and George Elliot. She clearly expresses her preference for Austen and explains why Charlotte Bronte, for instance, has not been able to achieve the degree of fluidity in Austen’s books.

Woolf was optimistic that women would ultimately stand at par with men in the literary world. She said that “if we live another century or so and have five hundred a year each of us and rooms of our own; if we have the habit of freedom and the courage to write exactly what we think; if we escape a little from the common sitting-room and see human beings not always not always in their relation to reality; and the sky, too, and the trees or whatever it may be in themselves; if we look past Milton’s bogey, for no human being should shut out the view; if we face the fact, for it is a fact that there is no arm to cling to, but that we go alone and that our relation to the world of reality and not only to the world of men and women, then the opportunity will come and the dead poet who was Shakespeare’s sister will put on the body which she has so often laid down”.
She gently admonishes that women cannot invent excuses for not being able to produce works at par with men pointing out that there have been at least two colleges for women in existence in England since the year 1866; that after the year 1880, a married woman was allowed by law to possess her own property; and that in 1919, she was given the right to vote. She adds that “When you reflect upon these immense privileges and the length of time during which they have been enjoyed, and that fact that there must be at this moment some two thousand women capable of earning five hundred year in one way or another, you will agree that the excuse of lack of opportunity, training, encouragement, leisure, and money no longer holds good.”

And what should women write about? Woolf says that “you would write books of history and biography, and criticism and philosophy and science. By doing so you will certainly profit the art of fiction. For books have a way of influencing each other. Fiction will be much better standing cheek by jowl with poetry and philosophy.”

the unicorn by marivi v. soliven (1992)

The thing with this mad and frenzied dashing to meet deadlines is that somewhere in between, something happens to that favourite pink-and-purple polka-dotted flannel unicorn we have neglectfully left in the toy closet. And what do we do when suddenly we find out that it has decided to grow a hard and pointed horn?


“ ‘Why should he want a soft old pink-and-purple polka dotted flannel hornless unicorn? He’s said often enough that life is tough. He’s had enough cuddling from me.’

So the unicorn thought of growing up too. She decided to grow a grown-up unicorn horn. Each night as the little-boy-grown-up dreamed his money dreams, the unicorn concentrated on growing up her horn. And as time passed, the hollow in her brow later levelled out, later grew a lump, later grew a point, still later pointed out until it had become a hard and pointed horn.

The unicorn was proud. She said aloud through the closet door one night: ‘It’d all right to let me out tonight little boy, for I’ve grown a horn as hard your own hard life.’

The boy was surprised to hear the unicorn speak. She had always been so soft and meek. But he opened the door anyway and was surprised to see his pink-and-purple polka-dotted flannel friend waving a long, hard, large white horn. The horn was too long to cuddle her close. It was far too hard to nuzzle his nose against. He continued to stare and the unicorn soon realized that the stare was not a happy one.

He had grown too old to love an old toy. And she had grown too hard to be loved by the little boy still inside of him.

Ever so slowly, her hard white horn began to shrink. Down to a lump, down to a hollow and when it was gone, the rest of her followed.

First went her fuzzy ears, and then her brown eyes, and soon the rest of her pink-and-purple polka-dotted flannel body.

Before he knew it, the little-boy-grown-up had nothing but the faintest feel of old flannel left to remind him of his childhood friend.

He never saw her again.”

the other boleyn girl (2008)

To get ahead in this world, you need more than fair looks and a kind heart.
- Sir Thomas Boleyn

 “The Other Boleyn Girl” is based on Philippa Gregory’s novel of the same title. If you think England’s Henry VIII (1491-1547) had a tad too many wives, this film is saying that outside the six legal wives in succession, there were still others in the running.

Anne (Natalie Portman) and Mary (Scarlett Johansson) are sisters trumping up each other in the contest for Henry VIII’s (Eric Bana’s) affection. This was during the period when the King was still married to Catherine of Aragon (Ana Torren) and there was no royal heir in sight. Anne was a long-term planner and it was clear to her at the outset hat she wanted the Queen of England’s thrown notwithstanding that the position was not vacant. Mary, the other Boleyn girl, however, was content at becoming the King’s mistress and bearing his child out of wedlock.

Anne seemed to be the luckier sister as she in time was crowned Queen, after much political upheaval ending with England’s severance of relations with the Catholic Church and the Pope. Someone should have told her, however, to be careful of the things wished for. A few years later, Anne would be beheaded in 1536 and wife no. 3 would take her turn in Henry VIII’s life. Mary would outlive her sister, living on until 1543.

There is much fabulous costume in this period film but it remains agonizing still. The two sisters are shrill and the viewer, exhausted at the constant bickering, starts rooting for the composed Catherine of Aragon. How was the King able to attend to the matters of the state amidst all these female chaos? And one would think that Henry VIII would have been traumatized with what happened. He, however, would only stop at wife no. 6 and only because his mortal life ended.

There is a good thing which came up with the union between Anne and Henry VIII -- Elizabeth I (1533-1603), one of the greatest monarchs of England.

the velveteen rabbit by margery williams (1975)

The Velveteen Rabbit is the journey of a fat and bunchy rabbit-toy -- whose coat was spotted brown and white, had real thread whiskers, ears lined with pink sateen and stuffed with sawdust -- into being Real.

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit”?

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
Of course we do not want to be one of those mechanical toys, very superior, looking down upon every one else and full of modern ideas; or those model boats who never miss an opportunity to refer to their rigging in technical terms; or even those jointed wooden lions made by disabled soldiers who should have had broader views but put on airs and pretend they are connected with the Government.

Somewhere along the journey from being a velveteen toy to Real-dom, the Rabbit, however, asks himself, “Of what use was it to be loved and lose one’s beauty and become Real if it all ended like this?” He had just earlier been placed into a sack with old picture-books and a lot of rubbish, and carried out to the end of the garden behind the fowl-house. He was shivering a little for he had always been used to sleeping in a proper bed, and by this time his coat had worn so thin and threadbare from hugging that it was no longer any protection to him.

And a tear, a real tear, trickled down his little shabby velvet nose and fell to the ground.

But the nursery magic Fairy arrives just in time and the seasons change.


“Autumn passed and Winter, and in the Spring, when the days grew warm and sunny, the Boy went out to play in the wood behind the house. And while he was playing, two rabbits crept out from the bracken and peeped at him. One of them was brown all over, but the other had strange markings under his fur, as though long ago he had been spotted, and the spots still showed through. And about his little soft nose and his round black eyes there was something familiar, so that the Boy thought to himself: ‘Why, he looks just like my old Bunny that was lost when I had scarlet fever!’. But he never knew that it really was his own Bunny, come back to look at the child who had first helped him to be Real.”

seducing the demon by erica jong (2006)

The job of a writer is to seduce the demons of creativity
and make up stories.
- Erica Jong

The book starts innocently enough - an excerpt of Erica Jong’s speech at the graduation for the College of Staten Island of the City University of New York where she was awarded her first honorary doctorate; and her magnanimous sharing of her 21 rules for aspiring writers:

1. Have faith – not cynicism
2. Dare to dream
3.Take your mind off publication.
4. Write for joy.
5. Get the reader to turn the page.
6. Forget politics (let your real politics shine through)
7. Forget intellect
8. Forget ego
9. Be a beginner
10. Accept change
11. Don’t think your mind needs altering
12. Don’t expect approval for telling the truth
13. Use everything
14. Remember that writing is dangerous if it’s any good
15. Let sex (the body, the physical world) in!
16. Forget critics
17. Tell your truth, not the world’s
18. Remember the earthbound
19. Remember to be wild!
20. Write for the child (in yourself and others)
21. There are no rules

Jong must have taken her own suggestions to heart, especially nos. 13, 15, 17, and 19 as she thereafter goes on a spree narrating sexual encounters (Ted Hughes, husband of Sylvia Plath; a former lover named Dart; an elderly publisher she calls Wagstaff; Andy Stewart, Martha Stewart’s husband; and a poet who wrote her “the sexiest letters full of black garter belts and rosy rumps and black stockings and dirty poems and references to the Story of O”), throwing poisoned arrows at her family members, publisher, and ex-husbands (she is now on her fourth), and dropping nuggets here and there of her forays into same-gender territory.

It’s one thing to hear about the escapades of Isadora Wing (Fear of Flying) or Fanny’s (Fanny: Being the True History of the Adventures of Fanny Hackabout-Jones), characters who we have always suspected to be thinly-veiled Jong personas, but it is an entirely another thing to hear in Jong's first person voice her fantasies involving Bill Clinton.

Jong writes that, “For writer as well as other people, ‘integrity of mind’ is the most important attribute. We live in a time when the most exalted lie most blatantly and nobody seems to care. Integrity has become an old-fashioned world”.

But how much can honesty can we take? Which takes us back to Jong’s no. 12 advice: “don’t expect approval for telling the truth”.

great expectations (1998)

Great Expectations, one of the most popular novels of Charles Dickens, first appeared in All Year Round as a series from December 1860 to August 1861. It has been adapted several times over for stage and screen since then. In 1998, a film directed by Alfonso Cuaron starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Ethan Hawke, proved once again the immense popularity and timelessness of the novel.

It is, however, the soundtrack of this 1998 film which has left its indelible mark on my memory bank – the strength and poetry of the lyrics of the tracks and the friend I had who I sang these songs with while downing immeasurable vodka tonics, talking about men, quoting Christina Rossetti, reading favourite passages from books we loved and hated in equal measure, discussing films which left us breathless, she introducing me to Sting, me haranguing her with Van Gogh, and both of us with great expectations of the future ahead of us.

Artist: The Verve Pipe

Song: Her Ornament

I never really meant to volunteer

I felt the urge to stretch

After a yawn and incidentally raised my hand

I just want to be her special

Someone who will never pioneer

I prefer to watch the mud break off her heels

And turn into cement

I just want to be her ornament

Her shadow seems much cooler

Camouflage myself and plan a special entrance

I just want to be her situation pending expectation

I just want to be her ornament

I never really meant to volunteer

I felt the urge to stretch

After a yawn and accidentally lost my head

I just want to be her exploitation and abbreviation

I just want to be her ornament

Artist: Fisher

Song: Breakable

Do you always have to tell him everything

On your mind?

You know that too much honesty can be

So unkind

And every time you throw him to the floor

Why are you surprised to see he's breakable?

You always try to find what's holding him

Away from you

But do you ever see your anger standing there

Right between you?

And every time you throw him to the wall

Why are you surprised to see he's breakable?

Tell the world that he's breaking your heart

Go tell the world nothing's ever your fault

Go tell them all

And every time you throw him to the floor

Why are you surprised to see he's breakable?

And every time you push him to the wall

Why are you surprised to see he's breakable?


Artist: Pulp

Song: Like a Friend

Don't bother saying you're sorry

Why don't you come in

Smoke all my cigarettes again

Every time I get no further

How long has it been?

Come on in now, wipe your feet on my dreams

You take up my time

Like some cheap magazine

When I could have been learning something

Oh well, you know what I mean, oh

I've done this before

And I will do it again

Come on and kill me baby

While you smile like a friend

Oh and I'll come running

Just to do it again

You are the last drink

I never should have drunk

You are the body hidden in the trunk

You are the habit I can't seem to kick

You are my secrets on the front page every week

You are the car I never should have bought

You are the dream I never should have caught

You are the cut that makes me hide my face

You are the party that makes me feel my age

Like a car crash I can see but I just can't avoid

Like a plane I've been told I never should board

Like a film that's so bad but I've got to stay till the end

Let me tell you now: it's lucky for you that we're friends.


Artist: David Garza

Song: Slave

black orange white and reddresses

hanging off your bed

from now until you reach your grave

baby I will be your slave

ask for your hand to hold

you know I could never be so bold

I could never be so brave

baby I will be your slave

lying words like overflow

they'll rule your heart -

before you know

they'll cover you - from head to toe

they'll never mean a word they say

they just go

I'll bring your mother back to life

I'll bring your father back his sight

back float in a tidal wave

baby I will be your slave

I had a dream of bleeding skies

crippled legs and static eyes

open land and quiet cave

baby I will be your slave

I love you, don't you trust me?

Do you love me, like I love you?

I'm broken, lost in misery

but you don't have to worry about me

I have no more soul to save


Artist: Lauren Christy

Song: Walk This Earth Alone

You're in the doors that keep revolving

The sirens that keep screaming

You're in the flashing of the headlights

The things that I'm believing

You're in the water that I'm drinking

The sound of 911

The walls that protect me

From the damage that you've done

In this world you are with me

But I walk this earth alone

But all I've ever known

Is you are right beside me

If I love you for a day

You'll blow my life away

Could I leave you behind me

You're in the crashing of the windows

The angels 'round the ceiling

You're in the fire in my belly

The fucked up way I'm feeling

You're in the warning on the label

The pills that disappear

The whines as I'm talking

The words you'll never hear

In this world you are with me

But I walk this earth alone

But all I've ever known

Is you are right beside me

If I love you for a day

You'll blow my life away

Could I leave you behind me

Could I leave you behind me...


Artist: Reef

Song: Resignation

How will I wake tomorrow?

Can Laughter come from sorrow?

Well I've been waiting,

For a feeling, and I've waited a long time

Well I've been around the world

And I ain't seen none like you

However can I follow?

All the words that you borrow

Well I've been waiting

For a feeling,And I've waited a long time

Well I've been around the world

And I ain't seen none like you

Well I was over you

Before you told me

I was the first to feel this way

Before you chuck me out

I was the first to doubt you

I was the first to feel this way

Well I've been around the world

And I ain't seen nothing like you


Artist: Poe

Song: Today

Standing in the doorway

Of my life in this house

Trying to find a way to get out

Looking for a sign

That I should open the door

This craziness is getting me down

But today is the dayWe break free

Walking down the stairway

To the traffic below

Anything could happen

I know

But I'm sick of everybody

Telling me what to doI hear you

Hey but I already know

And today is the day

We break free

It's clear in my mind

After all of this time

What I feel my love

There are so many times

That the sun doesn't shine

But I'm here my love

And today is the day

Maybe I should wait

Just a minute or two

It's getting cold now

I feel so insecure

The future is a mistress

That is so hard to please

And the past

Is a pebble in my shoe.

an inconvenient truth (2006)

We are entering into a period of consequences.
- Winston Churchill

Al Gore was this close to becoming President of the most powerful country in the world - and then Florida happened. He stepped aside for George W. Bush after the Supreme Court made a ruling. Gore thereafter went on to gain weight, grow a beard, loll in sweat suits, and watch Bush send troops to Iraq.

Debacles happen. Gore could have chosen to perpetually stay glued in front of his plasma TV murmuring expletives at the Republicans but no, he came to the realization that he is meant for other things, that events of his life has been leading him to a purpose, that the Presidency could have helped him achieve that purpose but it was not the only avenue, and that the Presidency may even have waylaid him from such purpose given the political bargains one is constrained to enter into in the White House. And so Gore shaped up. And so we see him now in An Inconvenient Truth.

The documentary concisely shows the rapid degradation of the planet and at such an alarming speed never before seen in history. The film presents results of scientific studies, graphs, charts, and pictures to drive home the point that if we do not act now, in less than 50 years we will experience even more terrible hurricanes, flooding, droughts, extinction of species, warmer temperatures, askew seasons, food and water shortages, displacement of people, disappearance of land masses, and all other devastations which Gore equal to a walk through the pages of the bible’s Book of Revelation.

The film tackles head on two hot issues surrounding environmental efforts: (1) are scientists in agreement regarding the environmental concern? and (2) environment versus the economy.

On the first issue, the documentary shows the result of a random sample of scientific studies concerning the planet’s deterioration and not one study said otherwise. It appears that doubts on whether the impact of climate change is real and imminent have been systemically created by politicians and the media. On the second issue, results of studies showed that corporations which have adopted environmentally-friendly policies are way ahead in terms of corporate profits. Gore, for good measure, asks however the rhetorical question that even assuming that good environmental policies cut on corporate profits or slow down a country’s growth rate, what good will all these monetary gains be at the end of the day when there is no planet to speak of.

Gore has been making the rounds, giving basically the same talk on An Inconvenient Truth to heads of states, legislators, administrators, schools, lobby groups, and even small groups emphasizing that if the planet is to be saved, it will require the involvement of everyone.

Climatecrisis.net list down 10 things that we all can do which will make a tremendous impact in halting the declining state of affairs of our planet:

1. Change a light - Replacing one regular light bulb will save 150 pounds of carbon dioxide a year.
2. Drive less – Walk, bike, carpool, or take mass transit more often. You’ll save one pound of carbon dioxide for every mile you don’t drive.
3. Recycle more – You can save 2,400 pounds of carbon dioxide per year by recycling just half of your household waste.
4. Check your tires – Keep your tires inflated properly can improve a gas mileage by more than 3%. Every gallon of gasoline saved keeps 20 pounds of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere.
5. Use less hot water – It takes a lot of energy to heat water. Use hot water by installing a low flow showerhead (250 pounds of CO2 saved per year) and washing your clothes in cold or warm water (500 pounds saved per year).
6. Avoid products with a lot of packaging – You can save 1,200 pounds of carbon dioixide if you cut down your garbage by 10%.
7. Adjust your thermostat – Moving your thermostat just by 2 degrees will save about 2,000 pounds of carbon dioixide a year with this simple adjustment.
8. Plant a tree – A single tree will absorb one ton of carbon dioixide over its lifetime.
9. Turn off electronic devices – Simply turning off your television, DVD player, stereo, and computer when you’re not using them will save you thousands of carbon dioxide a year.
10. Spread the word - Be a climate champion at home and at work. http://www.climatecrisis.net/takeaction/pdf/10things.pdf


As Al Gore has shown, there are cooler things in this world than being President of the most powerful country.

mama mia! (2008)

It is astounding how the creators of Mamma Mia! has been able to string together hits of the Swedish group ABBA into a semblance of a plot: Sophie Sheridan (Amanda Seyfried) is about to wed her boyfriend Sky ( Dominic Cooper) in a Greek paradise-island. Sophie, however, wants to find out her who her father is before the wedding and decides to send out three separate invitations to Bill Anderson (Stellan Skarsgard), Sam Carmichael (Pierce Brosnan), and Harry Bright (Colin Firth), three men who have figured in Donna Sheridan’s (Meryl Streep’s), her mother’s, exciting past. All three possible sperm donors arrive in paradise-island and chaos ensues.

Mamma Mia! is not only a wonderful trip down memory lane for ABBA lovers but is also a bedlam of interesting minute details: the man who she thought left her high and dry; unattended cracks on the patio floor; hinges which do not work; plastic surgery; independence versus love (are they mutually exclusive?); pursuing one’s dream; dependability of old friends; filial duty; illegitimacy issues; and the challenges of single parenting.

What is almost beyond belief in this film (which is by the way based on a stage musical), however, is hearing the man formerly known as Bond. . . James Bond, singing like his life depended upon the outcome of that song and seeing him in a shimmery, tight fitting suit and goodness, were those platform boots? (Was it possible that he regretted even for a millisecond relinquishing the Bond title in the middle of that predicament?) What is not surprising at all is seeing Meryl Streep take on another role with complete aplomb, abandon, and staggering brilliance.

the anonymous lawyer by jeremy blachman (2007)

The business of a law school is not sufficiently described when you merely say that it is to teach law or to make lawyers. It is to teach law in the grand manner and to make great lawyers.
- Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes

“Anonymous Lawyer” is not about great about lawyers or lawyers who have learned law in the grand manner.

The book, based on a popular blog (anonymouslawyer.blogspot.com), shows all the vileness and despicableness of the workings of the mind of a hiring partner of a half a billion dollar law firm who aspires to be the firm’s Chairman in due time.

In the interim, he complains about Anonymous Wife who forever sits in the house watching reruns of game shows, goes out with her friends for US$200 lunches, and strolls around department stores buying dozens of things which end up in the garage never touched.

He raves about Anonymous Niece who’s going to Yale Law School. He vows to inflict a brutal, painful, and ugly death, not covered by insurance, on The Jerk who is also aiming to be Chairman of the law firm.

He nitpicks on the Old Guy who has been forced into retirement; the Guy With the Giant Mole who quit the law firm to become a high school teacher; the Bombshell who not only wears tight suits but why whose memos are solid and work airtight; and a parade of other characters he calls The Short One, The Dumb One, The One With The Limp, The One Who’s Never Getting Married, The One Who Missed Her Kid’s Funeral, The One Who Loves His Kids, The Suck-Up, The Musician, The Foreign Dude, ad infinitum.

The book is written in a funny-painful way and shows what happens when someone is razor-focused on a goal oblivious to all the things around him and only notices certain people along the way because they either (1) pose obstructions to his dream, or (2) could help him achieve his target.

The Anonymous Lawyer is determined to propagate his world view with his recruitment principle: “The reality is that anyone who’s got something else pulling at him is not going to be a good fit here. You can’t spend a hundred and ten hours a week in the office if your heart is somewhere else. This is too all-consuming to leave room for passions. We know most of our associates don’t truly love law. We accept that. They’re here because there’s no job they can get this easily that’ll pay this much money, and there’s nothing else pulling at them to pursue something different. That’s fine. But when we’re the backup plan for someone with a creative dream, it’s trouble. They wimp out on us. They start to imagine they deserve better. There is no better. This is a good as it gets."

If you’ve wondered why lawyers spend a lot of time in the office, this book offers a possible explanation – they are blogging out there, anonymously.

the 7 habits of highly effective people by stephen r. covey (1989)

Any time is a good time to prod us not only to get back on that saddle and shoot for the supernova, but more importantly to grant a sliver of opportune time for us to resolve to be better family members, friends, colleagues, and more involved individuals in our respective spheres of influence.

Stephen R. Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” provides the following guideposts:

1. Be proactive (Principles of Personal Vision)
- It means more than merely taking initiative. It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives; that our behaviour is a function of our decisions, not our conditions; that we can subordinate feelings to values; and that we have the initiative and responsibility to make things happen. Highly proactive people do not blame circumstances, conditions or conditioning for their behaviour. Their behaviour is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling.

2. Begin with the end in mind (Principles of Personal Leadership)
- It means to start with a clear understanding of your destination; to know where you’re going to better understand where you are now so that the steps you take are always in the right direction.

3. Put first things first (Principles of Personal Management)
- It is the ability to make decisions and choices, to act in accordance with them, and to act rather than to be acted upon. It is usually not the dramatic, the visible the once-in-a-lifetime, up-by-the-bootstraps effort that brings enduring success. Empowerment comes from learning how to use this great endowment in the decisions we make everyday.

4. Think win/win (Principles of Interpersonal Leadership)
- Win/win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. It means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying; that all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan; that it sees life as a cooperative, not a competitive arena; and that it is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody, that one person’s success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others.

5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood (Principles of Emphatic Communication)
- Emphatic listening gets inside another person’s frame of reference. You look out through it, you see the world the way they see the world, you understand their paradigm, you understand how they feel.

6. Synergize (Principles of Creative Cooperation)
- It means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Valuing the differences is the essence of synergy – the mental, emotional and psychological differences of people. The key to valuing differences is to realize that all the people see the world not as it is, but as they are.

7. Sharpen the saw (Principles of Balanced Self-Renewal)
- It means exercising all four dimensions, i.e., physical, mental, spiritual, and social/emotional, regularly and consistently in wise and balanced ways.


I first read this book in 1999 as one of the requirements in a course work but have been finding myself flipping through its pages every so often and feeling absurdly eager-beaver a few moments later.

he's not just that into you by greg behrendt and liz tuccillo (2004)

“If we wrote a book called ‘She’s Just Not That Into You, it would sell eight copies. Men don’t process heartbreak that way. We don’t run to Barnes & Noble and buy a book. We get drunk and stand on your lawn, then the cop comes and we’re fairly sure it’s over.”

- Greg Behrendt

This is a hilarious romp of a book wherein authors, Greg Behrendt and Liz Tucillo (writers of Sex and the City), depose one by one the mind-boggling excuses women concoct to explain to themselves why the man-of-the-hour has not rung the doorbell. Here’s the rundown that can rival any of David Letterman’s top items of the week:

He’s just not into you if he’s …

Not asking you out (because of he likes you he will ask you out)
- maybe he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship excuse / maybe he’s intimidated by me excuse / maybe he wants to take it slow excuse / but he gave me his number excuse / maybe he forgot to remember me excuse / maybe I don’t want to play games excuse

Not calling you (men know how to use the phone)
- but he’s been travelling a lot excuse / but he’s got a lot on his mind excuse / he just says things he doesn’t mean excuse / maybe we’re just different excuse / but he’s very important excuse

Not dating you (“hanging out” is not dating)
- he just got out of a relationship excuse / but we really are dating excuse / its better than nothing excuse / but he’s out of town a lot excuse

He’s having sex with someone else (there’s never going to be a good excuse for cheating)
- he’s got no excuse and he knows it excuse / but I’ve gotten fat excuse / he has a stronger sex drive than I excuse / but at least he knew her excuse

He only wants to see you when he’s drunk (if he likes you he’ll want to see you when his judgement isn’t impaired)
- but I like him this way excuse / at least its not the hard stuff excuse

He doesn’t want to marry you (love cures commitment phobia)
- things are really tight now excuse / he’s so terribly put upon excuse / he’s just not ready excuse / he just needs a better role model excuse

He’s breaking up with you (“I don’t want to go out with you” means just that)
- but he misses me excuse / but it really takes the pressure off us excuse / but everyone is doing it excuse / but then he wants to get back together excuse / but I’m so damn nice excuse / I do not accept his breakup excuse

He’s disappeared on you (sometimes you have to get closure all by yourself)
- maybe he’s dead excuse / but can’t I at least yell at him excuse / but I just want an answer excuse

He’s married and other insane variations of being unavailable (if you’re not able to love freely, its not really love)
- but he’s wife is such a bitch excuse / but he’s a really good person excuse / I should wait it out excuse

He’s a selfish jerk, a bully, or a really big freak (if you really love someone, you want to do things to make that person happy)
- but he’s really trying to be better excuse / its just the way he was brought up excuse / its not always going to be like this excuse / its behind closed doors that count excuse / but he’s just trying to help excuse / but now I’m playing in the big leagues excuse / he’s just finding himself excuse / maybe it’s just his little quirk excuse

The book is done in a Friday-night-easy-writing style, question-and-answer format, guaranteed not to further stress the seat of reason/passion of brain-wracked women pondering on who Behrendt calls “Stinky the Time-Waster” or “Freddy-Cant-Remember-to-Call”. The truth (the truth generally being more dreadful than a lobotomy) is that according to the authors, men would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than simply tell the Queen of Sheba that “you’re not the one”. So move on superfox, cut your losses, and don’t waste your time fabricating excuses.

Don’t waste the pretty.

yentl (1983)

“Papa, watch me fly”
- Yentl Mendel

There was a time when there were no women barristers, no women justices, no women bar topnotchers, when an almost equal male-female population in law school population was unheard of, and Ally McBeal was not even imaginable. There was a time when the study of law was limited to men, and such was the time of Yentl Mendel (Barbra Streisand).

Rebbe Mendel (Nehemiah Persoff), Yentl’s father, was a man, however, far ahead of his time. Rebbe who was a Talmud teacher, secretly taught his daughter not only the labyrinths of the Torah but more importantly the joy of learning and the belief that the acquisition of knowledge is a gift that should be shared by humankind, irrespective of gender. And then Rebbe dies, leaving Yentl all by herself.

Yentl then decides to venture out into the world. She leaves the village and managed to get herself into a Yeshiva to study Jewish law and tradition by passing herself as a boy. In the course of her life as Anshel, she falls in love with her classmate Avigdor (Mandy Patinkin), who of course thinks Yentl is a man. Life even becomes more complicated when Avigdor gets engaged to Haddas (Amy Irving), and then Haddas marries Anshel, and then Avigdor finally gets Haddas. Yentl, to extricate herself from this Anshel/Yentl persona, even had to bare her bosom to drive home a point. Yes, Virginia, a woman living life as a man in those times was truly hazardous, wearisome, and treacherous.

Barbra Streisand, in true Yentl fashion, stars and directs the film. Yentl won the 1984 Academy Awards for Best Music and Best Adaptation Score and the 1984 Golden Globe Award for Best Director.

sex and the city (2008)

You've come a long way, baby.

-Virginia Slims ad

Critics lambast Sex and the City (SATC) as, “it is not real life”. Of course it’s not real life - who can afford Manolo Blahniks on a column writer’s salary and still maintain one’s own place in Manhattan, brainstorming in cafes, and living on cosmopolitans in the evenings? And trust me, I have been wearing heels since I was 10years old and there is no way you can wear those 3-inch pumps to a picnic. But all these are beside the point. As beside the point as Mr. Big’s real name.

I first heard of SATC from a former colleague some years back who said I should watch this series (I had a feeling he was staring at my red stilettos while saying this). I looked up briefly from the monitor to say “sex wha-at?”

I watched the first three episodes and I was hooked. Yep, it was about sex and whole lots more. Lots more shoes, clothes, bags, friendships, real estate, women’s dilemmas, diamond rings, and have I said shoes?

It used to be that there were few choices available to women. They would either become wives/mothers, whores, or end up in the convent. SATC explores these choices, asks if this is all there is to it, and raises questions which we have feared at some point to give voice to: What if I divorce this someone who I thought was the perfect man of my life? What if I decide not to get married? What if I choose my career over marriage? What if I choose marriage over my career? To what extent should I compromise? Should I break off an engagement because of my fear of marriage and the possibility of marital unromanticization/stagnation? Is it evil to leave somebody who stood by me when I was at my lowest point? How will I know if he is the One? Will I ever know if he is the One? Will I still recognize myself tomorrow after I have packed my bags, my books, and my life, to go join who I think is the One to some far off country? How far can I change for somebody? Should I get a nanny? Should I adopt a baby? Can I borrow money from friends? How would it look if I borrow money from an ex-boyfriend? How much of our boyfriends’ past do we need to know? What if my prospective mother-in-law is the evil stepmother reincarnate?

SATC the movie picks up the lives of the four friends Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker), Charlotte York (Kristin Davis), Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall), and Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon), five years after Season 6 (no one gained weight, and all four look as fabulous as ever). Similar to the series, the movie version continues to explore dilemmas faced by 21st century women. Is there forgiveness after infidelity? How much advice should we take from friends? Should we think about escape clauses even before we say our marriage vows? What about the kids if we decide to get a divorce? Should I stop doing the things that I love for the baby? Should I stop doing things I love for the man in my life? What is the perfect wedding gown? What is the wedding really all about? What if my family life starts falling at the seams because of my job? Is there such thing as a perfect life or a perfect choice?

SATC is a fantastic movie date for girlfriends especially those facing crossroads in their lives. Husbands, boyfriends, and fiancés, be forewarned, and stay out of this amazon jungle that is the theatre showing SATC. Be sure to have a very important business meeting if she asks you to watch the movie with her.

One more thing. This is a movie shot in New York and about women living in Manhattan who feel passionately about brands and their cosmopolitans and who rarely cook. If you cannot forget for 2 hours and a half about certain countries in Africa where the average lifespan of women is approximately 35 years old, please do not watch this movie. Your heart will bleed. And it will not be due to Mr. Big’s (Chris North’s) inability to muster anything more than a lopsided grin the entire movie or Jerry “Smith” Jerrod’s (Jason Lewis’s) bland blond presence.

what should i do with my life? by po bronson (2003)

“It’s about people who dared to be honest with themselves”
- Po Bronson


Is there anyone here who has not asked any of these questions at any point?

1. Should I put my faith in mystical signs of destiny, or should my sense of a “right fit” be based on logical, practical reasons?
2. When should I accept my lot, make peace with my ambition, and stop stressing out?
3. Why do I feel guilty thinking about this?
4. Should I make money first, to fund my dream?
5. How do I tell the difference between a curiosity and a passion?
6. How do I weigh making myself a better person against external achievements?
7. When do I need to change that situation, and when is it ‘me’ that needs to change?
8. What should I tell my parents, who worry about me?
9. If I have a child, will my frustration over my work go away?
10. What will I feel like when I get there? (How will I know I’m there?)

Robert Frost had it easy, he only had to choose between two roads. Now we are faced with a myriad of options - to choose either road, stand petrified at the crossroad like Lot’s wife, take one road and backpedal if we don’t like it, choose to go back where we originally came from, take the first road then jump to the second road then jump back again to the first road, and so the confusing options go.

The beauty of this book is that there are no ready answers. It does not attempt to cut through the Gordian knot of any personal dissatisfaction or exorcise devils of anxiety or discontent. It merely tells one story after another, stories of real people that may well have been that of our neighbor’s, a colleague’s, our sibling’s, or that of our own little-big selves. Stories which remind us of past sorrows and past joys, and of possible happy futures that can be ours. Then we ask more questions, and in the process a glimmer of light shine through our personal convoluted maze of dilemmas.

Po explains that the stories are organized into eight sections: In the first section, the people interviewed are struggling with the essential paradox of trying to make a “right” decision in the absence of experience. In the second section, they’re overcoming traditional class notions of where they belong. In the third, they’re learning to resist temptations that have distracted them from their true aspirations. The people in section four have found ways to resolve that inherent conflict. In the fifth section, they’re getting to know themselves as people first, then struggling with what that means for their career mission. The people in the sixth section found their right place or environment, which led in turn to greater insight. The seventh section is the longest in the book. It recognizes that we make our choices with our family in mind. The people in the final section demonstrate the virtues of patience and persistence. Po stresses that he included the said part not to admonish the young and urgent, but to respect the Big Picture.

Socrates brandished that the unexamined life is not worth living. “What Should I Do With My Life?” amplifies the point that the examination of this life is no mean feat and the journey arduous and long, but yes, the answers will make this life worth living.

1001 books you must read before you die edited by peter boxall (2006)

Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to bechewed and digested: that is, some books are to be read only in parts, others to be read, but not curiously, and some few to be read wholly, and with diligence and attention.

- Francis Bacon

This is the first time I actually tried a book on my bathroom scale out of curiosity - the thing weighs 4.2 lbs! I leafed through the 1001 books in the list and I found to my chagrin that I have covered only 7% of the entire lot (and I have been seriously reading since I was at least 9 years old; but then no Book of Knowledge, Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, or Enid Blyton in this list). I did some calculations and arrived at the conclusion, all things being equal, that I would need to read about 3-4 books a month from the said list until the day I complete the average lifespan of a human being in order to cover the entire list.

The books are divided according to the century they were written, starting from the 1700. All fiction earlier than 1700 is classified under the heading “Pre-1700”. Among the writers included in the 21st century are Haruki Murakami, Margaret Atwood, Philip Roth, Milan Kundera, Paulo Coelho, Yann Martel, Chuck Palahniuk, Salman Rushdie, Ian McEwan, J.M. Coetzee, John Banville, and Kazuo Ishiguro.

Each entry is accompanied by a synopsis of the book, the background of the writer, the date of first publication, language of first publication, and the title under which it was first published.

Towards the end of the book is an Author Index where you can check how many books of your favourite author has been included in the list as compared to another author. Herman Hesse, for example, has four to his name (The Glass Bead Game, Rosshalde, Siddhartha, and Steppenwolf) vis-à-vis McEwan’s ten (Amsterdam, Atonement, Black Dogs, The Cement Garden, The Child In Time, Comfort of Strangers, Enduring Love, First Love Last Rites, In Between the Sheets, and Saturday).

You may not agree with all the books included (I don’t) and those excluded which should have properly been in the list, but it is no debate that 1001 Books to Read before You Die is a good guidepost to good fiction that has been written throughout the ages.

the forbidden kingdom (2008)

“Do not forget to breathe”
- The Silent Monk

I have to admit now that I harboured no little amount of perturbation when I saw the movie posters with Jackie Chan’s name obviously topbilling that of Jet Li’s. It was not a good omen.

Ten minutes into the film, I breathed deeply and breathed well. For I knew that Forbidden Kingdom was intended to end the mother of all debates as to who is the kung fu master. And his name is not Jackie Chan.

Jet Li plays the Monkey King - a little uncouth immortal who has vastly entertained the Jade Emperor. The role establishes Jet Li as king, as the immortal hero, and although he is the quintessential elegant kung fu master, he could do a mean parody of the funny man and leave us no less amused as the Jade Emperor.

And then I almost forgot to breathe. Enter the Silent Monk. This is vintage Jet Li – economical of movements; swift, powerful fists; vast energy unleashed in one graceful stroke; here one second, gone in the next; light as a feather on his toes; unwavering in his sense of mission; intensely focused; unruffled even when faced with the most adverse conditions; and he keeps himself amidst all these in a state of utmost serenity.

Jacky Chan plays the Drunken Immortal, who as we see, is far from immortal. One shot from the arrow of Ni-Chang of the Long White Tresses and he would have crossed to the land of the beyond had it not been for the efforts of his friends. The Drunken Immortal needs his prop, his elixir, for him to maintain his powers. The true immortal stays free from the shackles of earthly wants or desires. Such is the Silent Monk who can remain steadily quiet and his center intact in the midst of an endless desert.

The last fight is crucial. While the Drunken Immortal is in a state of transition from coma to drunken stupor, it is the Silent Monk, a mere wisp of a mortal with a mission, who dares to do battle with the immortal Jade Warlord. This is the same heavenly general who has reduced Golden Sparrow to orphanhood at a tender young age; to have raised beheaded minions in pikes for his fiefdom to see and to quake; and to have caused the Monkey King to be cast in stone for ages until The Seeker finds him.

The Silent Monk suddenly sees the Golden Staff about to fall into the fiery cauldron. In one clean sweep, he has the Staff in his hand. He has accomplished his mission. The Monkey King is freed.

The Silent Monk slowly dies and reverts into a golden hair. Then we see that the Silent Monk and the Monkey King is one. And Jet Li is truly the One.

starbucked by taylor chuck (2007)

“We changed the way people live their lives, what they do when they get up in the morning, how they reward themselves, and where they meet”
- Orin Smith, former Starbucks CEO

This is the book for (a) anyone who entertains thoughts of opening a coffee shop; (b) loves Starbucks; (c) hates Starbucks; (d) captivated with the romance of coffee; (e) inordinately spends more time in cafes than his/her actual place of residence; (f) fascinated with statistics concerning the coffee industry; (g) steeped in coffee history and trivia; and (h) all of the above.

Taylor Clark prefaces his book like it was a dissertation. He explains: Starbucked is divided into two sections - In part one, we investigate the mystery of why Starbucks and coffee culture gripped America so tightly and so suddenly, and we examine some related curiosities along the way. Why did Seattle become the planet’s coffee epicentre? Why did Starbucks pay a firm to hypnotize its customers? Why doesn’t Starbucks have any noteworthy competitors? Part two explores the ethical issues that swirl around the company as it pursues its goal of global domination. Does Starbucks prey on independent cafes, as critics claim? Should we feel complicit in the plight of impoverished coffee farmers each time we buy a vanilla latter?

On a related note, Time Magazine has reported (21 April 2008) that Howard Schultz, self-proclaimed coffee messiah, has taken the position of CEO again in Starbucks after he relinquished the post in 2000 for a seat on the board (but did he ever leave Starbucks? Schultz’s office was right next to CEO Jim Donald). This is amidst growing complaints from customers, decrease in 40% of its stock price the past 12 months, and comparable-store sales turning negative.

Uncle Howie is already shifting gears. For starters, he has scrapped the breakfast sandwiches (they overpower the scent of coffee), reporting of comp-store sales (too much focus on numbers means less focus on customers), the verismo (the old machines gives baristas less control over the steaming of milk and blocks their view of patrons), cluttered counters (the mishmash of stuff distracts from coffee), and stores every corner (unwieldy US growth will slow, the company will still push ahead overseas).

And what’s in? Grinding beans in stores (will restore the coffee aroma). MyStarbucksIdea.com (a site invites customers’ gripes and suggestions), the mastrena (the barista can be seen over this new espresso machine), Conservation International (the group will certify where beans come from), and loyalty card (free drip refills and latte extras for repeat customers).

Why did Schultz return to Starbucks? Uncle Howie, the savior of the coffee universe, proclaims, “I came back because it’s personal. I came back because I love this company and our people and I feel a deep sense of responsibility to 200,000 people and their families.” Ahem (the decrease in Starbucks’ stockprice has resulted in the corollary decrease of about US$400 million in Schultz’s worth).

As the Starbucks mantra goes, “Onward Howard!”

bitter grounds by sandra benitez (1997)

“Listen, for all your words
you cannot know.

In Salvador, coffee is
red-roofed estates,
high walls crowned with shards of glass.
uniformed servants hurrying over marble
toward a buzzing at the door.

In Salvador, coffee is
trips abroad,
languid Miami shopping;
dewy hands
plunged between
voile and cambric and silk.

You say, but for the golden hope of coffee
few men would get ahead.
I say, when the people harvest,
all they reap is bitter grounds.

In Salvador, coffee is
filled berry baskets
tied around waists;
bloodied fingertips
wrapped with strips of rag;
sisal arms
reaching up again to pick.

In Salvador, coffee left
in tins, pottery mugs, china cups,
never grows cold.

In Salvador, coffee steams while it sits.”

Izalco, El Salvador in 1932 is a place where no savior is in sight. Coffee farmers who have been working on their small farmlands, and whose fathers and grandfathers worked on that same farmland growing coffee, woke up one day being told that the land is not theirs. And so it was in 1932 that Mercedes Prieto left her homestead with her daughter Jacinta. The evening before, Ignacio Prieto, her husband, was brutally gunned down in the finca of Don Pedro to serve as lesson to other coffee pickers who harboured thoughts of overpowering the landowners.

Mercedes would thereafter join the household of Elena Contreras of the finca La Abundancia as a domestic. This would start three generations of women bound to each other as master and servant and ties of friendship but not quite. Mercedes and her progeny knew very well that much as they were valued and loved by their masters, they were still servants in that place - servants who could not go to the exclusive schools where the children of the finca went and who were expected to schedule their child-bearing so as not to skew the activities of their masters.

Interspersed through the lives of the women are the stories of their loves, of long-running radio soap opera episodes whose plots were not much different from their own joys and tragedies, and how coffee has all held them captive in its clutch.

Bitter Grounds end in a note not any less explosive as how it opened. It would take a third generation Prieto, Maria Mercedes, to undertake an action in 1977 which her grandafather Ignacio hesitated to do 45 years before. It would also take that many years to resolve the question which haunted her grandmother and namesake Mercedes throughout her life.

The book ends with the following epilogue: “The story continues, as all stories do until life itself is done. In a country named The Savior, 1980 brought full-scale civil war. By 1992, when peace was signed, 75,000 had died; 300,000 had fled, and 5 million remained, these filled with hope on bitter grounds.”

The book won the American Book Award in 1998.

phantom of the opera (2004)

The Phantom of the Opera tells us that the ghost lurking in the shadows, who you want to dismiss as a mere figment of your imagination, is real and more fearsome than your worst nightmare; that what people try to attribute to superstition and magic can be readily explained by science, architecture, and human tenacity; and that love triumphs over hatred and revenge. The film asks where one draws the line between fervent devotion and dark obsession, and wherein the demarcation lies between love and pity.

Christine Daae (Emmy Rossum) is one of the chorus girls in the French Opera House. No one knows, however, that somebody has been giving her lessons, preparing her for her big debut onstage. The fateful day arrives. Christine is hailed as the new bright star of the opera world.

The Phantom of the Opera (Gerard Butler), who has been blissfully content to remain unseen behind his protégée’s dressing room mirror while mentoring her, has decided to detach himself from the darkness. He was prompted by the appearance of Viscount Raoul De Chagny (Patrick Wilson), who has presented himself as a serious rival to the affections of Christine.

Christine is faced with a dilemma. On the one side, there is her Angel of Music, who she believes has been sent by her deceased father to be her guide. He has coached her and has given her a chance to gain a foothold in the world of opera. There is also the matter of his long and lonely existence. Throughout his life, the Phantom’s disfigurement caused his isolation from the rest of humanity. Christine was aware that the Phantom saw her as his salvation from the bottomless pit of personal torment. On the other side, however, is Raoul who epitomizes the eternal spring of her childhood and the joy of living under bright, yellow sunshine.

Christine has to make a decision. She cannot waver, she cannot falter, as people’s lives hang in a precarious balance.

The film is based on Gaston Leroux’s Phantom of the Opera published in 1909 and music adapted from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s 1986 musical of the same title. It was nominated for 3 Academy Awards and 3 Golden Globe Awards in 2005.